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好久没有好好上来这里写部落格了，其实今天有点累了，但不知为什么，我就是想写，真的好久好久没认真去面对了。。。累，非常适合形容现在的我，无论哪一方面，我都累了。。。ya, i am totally exhausted, mentally and physically, i am so so so tired............ 上大学的事，一直烦着我，最近不知怎么的，不想接受所谓上天的安排，似乎已懂得为自己的梦想而拼命，这世界上没有不劳而获的东西，不过。。。。真的好累。。。追求梦想，好辛苦。。。不想留下遗憾，所以一直到现在还放不下，但是明知道前面是一道墙，还硬硬闯。。。为了它，我需要放弃好多东西，为了它，我需要加倍努力，为了它，我需要大胆的赌一把，但我又不能保障我会得到它，啊！！！！！ 累。。。。简单的路不选，偏偏选那充满荆棘，会伤害自己的路，这是自虐吗？或许是的。。。huh.... i think there is something wrong with me, definately... people keep on telling me try it, go ahead, you can do it, don't give up, follow your heart.... u think it is so easy ar, i know how high is my standard, you aren't me, that's why it looks so easy to you. i know i can't compete with them, i know there are lots of people better than me, i have not enough knowledge, i am not hardworking enough, i have no confidence to myself, i have no courage, i have nothing, why should i be the choosen one? i already know i can't get the scholarship, why should i dissapointed myself? huh............ i am really so tired...... 疯狂的举动，不是我的风格，没有把握的事情，我不会去做，对，我就是没有安全感。。。。我走不出我的 comfort zone, 因为我害怕失去，我怕再次选择错的路，我害怕失败，我怕我承受不了。。。我怕很多东西。。。真的要这么做吗？看来我不只累了，还有疯了。。。hahaha...... 怎么办？敢敢去？我需要很大的勇气。。。怎么办？怎么办？时间不多了。。。
最近学会了一些事情，或许该说我早就知道了，只是前阵子尝试去推翻之前的想法而已。我早就知道对某件事情或东西不应该放太多感情在里面，因为受伤的会是自己，但不知道为什么，我好像在starbucks 那里投入了许多感情，因为那样，所以在那里我会很开心，现在已离不开那里了。。。是好事还是坏事呢？tired................. just came back from store 2 hours ago, later need to go store again, so sleepy right now, but then if i sleep right now, for sure i can't wake up d, how??
this few weeks working from morning till night, crazy d, last week working 3 days back-to-back in a row, yesterday opening at new world park then closing at gurney tower then go back store for spking cleaning than later opening at NWP then middle at GT, siao liao.............. @.@ i think no matter what i still need to take a nap, or else...... i dunno what will happen...... nite......




hui yin